Posts Tagged ‘dating resolutions’
Q: Julie, how can we make dating less expensive?
A: First date ideas for those who like to hang on to their cash:
As a matchmaker overseeing the love lives of thousands of single love seekers, I hear plenty of grumbling about $14 glasses of wine, $85 lunch bills, and all of those little and not so little expenses that are…the costs of courtship…More so now than ever with our current economic challenges. So, what are simple, yet highly effective things you can do when you’re ready to meet, greet, date, make a good impression and have fun?
Here are some stellar notes I received from my clients about their creative and inexpensive dates that were awesome.
Catherine’s a busy CPA and single mom, whose only opening for a first date with Brian was Sunday morning, squeezed in between her puppy training class and her son’s soccer game. The meeting spot? Sharky’s Fresh Mexican grill – a super casual fast food restaurant, classed up by mesquite, stone fired ovens, organic fare and a lovely outdoor patio area.
Brian couldn’t have handled things better for this quickie date, which was not at all expensive, and came across as anything but cheap.
In confirming plans with Catherine by phone, sensing that her day would be hectic, he suggested this casual but pretty outdoor spot, and (smart boy) discovered in advance that Catherine loves Fresh Mex salads. Catherine arrived right on time, delighted to find Brian seated at a sweet little table by the fountain. On the table already? A couple of different salads, tortilla chips, guacamole, lemonade and …get this…at his feet…a bowl of water for her puppy.
Glowing post-date reviews from both of them. They’re meeting up this coming Sunday…same time…same place…same pup….and they’ll have fun fighting over the bill, which will be all of about … eighteen bucks.
The moral of the story? Creativity, flexibility and thoughtfulness stretch a lot farther than the almighty dollar in making that all important first impression on a date.
With much love, Julie Ferman, Cupid’s Coach Stay Connected: http://www.facebook.com/CupidsCoach http://cupidscoach.wordpress.com/ http://www.twitter.com/CupidsCoach Meet us by video: http://tinyurl.com/y9tlhr3 Julie Ferman, Cupid’s Coach Awarded “Best Matchmaker” by iDate & OPW, 2010
Is my MATCH living in another state? Maybe! These are fascinating, and very exciting times for personal matchmakers. Why? Because for matchmakers the world is shrinking every single day. Five years ago our Cupid’s Coach personal matchmaking clients were primarily all Los Angelinos, but these days I’ve had my traveling shoes on. Cupid’s Coach has two fabulous new clients in Utah, both successful and beautiful female business owners, and earlier this month we gathered recruiters and affiliates in San Diego to expedite our search for several clients there. I just returned from Vancouver B.C. where I met with a phenomenal new client who will be meeting stellar gentlemen in her favorite cities throughout Canada and the U.S. Oh, and our Wyoming client — He’s so scrumptious. We’re conducting a nationwide search to find his sweetie (If you’re an adorable 35-45 year old woman who’d love to be introduced to a real cowboy in the grand state of Wyoming, then by all means, get registered with us at we can refer you to him as a candidate. 
http://www.CupidsCoach.com. These past few weeks we’ve arranged first dates for our clients in Cincinnati, Orange County, La Quinta, Chicago, San Francisco, New York and Seattle. We’ve orchestrated magical dates for clients in London, Hawaii, Singapore, Toronto, and there’s one in the works at the moment for Sydney. Like I said, for professional matchmakers, the world is shrinking. The largest folder housed in my computer is my Affiliates Folder. Translated to non matchmaker terminology, that means Competitors. Yet I’m pleased to report that we don’t have any! – All of the other matchmakers and dating coaches whom I’ve been gathering and schmoozing for the past 20 years (the good ones mind you) these are my colleagues, not my competitors. We synergistic and help each other all the time. Because we’re all on the same mission, which is finding for our client the perfect match. Take my good friend and colleague Patti Stanger, founder of The Millionaires Club; Patti and I have been working side by side for ten years referring clients back and forth. Female clients are a rarity for Patti, whereas at Cupid’s Coach, serving women is our specialty. How is it all the matchmakers come together? That would be at the Matchmakers Conference coming up this October. I have had the privilege and honor of co-producing and emcee’ing the conference which is in its fourth year. It’s the one place on the planet where dating coaches and personal matchmakers gather to discuss and literally evolve the business and the art of matchmaking. If you’re in the dating or matchmaking industry or would like to be? Join us: http://www.matchmakersconference.com/conference/introduction/index.php So just in case you wonder if the ideal match for you might not be in your immediate stomping grounds, not to worry…we matchmakers have the world pretty well covered… Over 1000 marriages and many more success stories Cupid’s Coach – We would love to create your next experience. Sign up for our Newsletter /BLOGS
“Uhm, JULIE, are those dating shows on Reality TV real or fake?” “Is that cute guy Guile you’re setting up on “The Match Off” really single and available?”
It was amazing to me how many people inquired about my current upcoming TV appearance on “The Match Off”. “Are these men and women we’re seeing on reality TV actors, are they faking it all for the screen? Or are they The Real Deal?”
The Cupid’s Coach Team had so much fun filming our segment of NBC’S “The Match Off”. My hubby, Gil and I have done hundreds of dating and matchmaking related film and TV shoots for the nearly 20 years 
we’ve been in the luv biz, and our experience with NBC was fantastic. Five days of filming for a 30-minute show ought to give you an idea of the extensive work that goes into the production of a reality TV show. Not to mention the hours of office work, behind the scenes to find the talent.
Well, I can’t speak for all of the reality shows in production at the moment, but I can tell you the honest to goodness truth about how we did the casting for our segment of The Match Off. It was no easy feat.
When working with a TV show, we never have the lead time we want, so it’s always a mad scramble to pull together a great date for the single love seeker who’s being featured. Typically I have six months to a year to work with a particular matchmaking client, incorporating tons of dating coaching, ongoing feedback, recruiting activities, and a series of introductions — all enabling me to continually refine and tweak our strategy for the client. But when making magic happen for TV, matchmaking needs to be done much more quickly.
To lasso a great match for Guile? We had two days. Yowza! Fortunately, with over 17,000 single love seekers privately registered with Cupid’s Coach, we have a big advantage, and isolating a group of 100 or so young cuties, all adorable and in their 20′s wasn’t really a struggle. But finding one whom we felt he would be attracted to and interested in? Who might just go for him too? And then the real trick — finding one who fit all of our criteria AND who was willing to bring her love life into focus on national TV. Whoa baby, that’s when the potential candidate list takes a real hit. 9 out of 10 say “No way!”
Being the dating and coaching experts that we are, we braced ourselves and really focused on those we felt would fit the Guile bill. Many fell off our radar because of schedule conflicts, bunches of them lacked the “wow” factor when we met with them in person, and we just didn’t think bachelor Guile would “go” for them. Are you beginning to see why casting for these shows might just be a full time job? But we did it. We found a gorgeous, fun, athletic girl named Veronica. You’ll see her tonight on NBC’s “The Match Off”, 7:30 p.m. in LA, and then again after “Saturday Night Live” at 1 a.m. We loved the whole experience.
Cupids Coach Julie Ferman advice for the week
My client, Marcy is concerned that the man she’s scheduled to meet this week is passionate about skiing, and typically heads to the mountains several times a year for quick getaways. She’d much rather escape to Cabo or Maui. She is very confused as she likes everything else about him. So she called me this morning and asked if she should cancel her date with him on Wednesday night.
Q: Julie, he’s a Skier, I’m a total beach girl. Wow, are we compatible?
Here’s what this personal matchmaker had to say about the issue:
A: “Marcy, don’t be too concerned that Russell has an activity passion that you don’t share. Not all of his travel excursions are ski trips. He just showed me photos from his recent excursion to Thailand and Singapore. You have a lot more in common that you might think; you both love exploring foreign cultures and getting off the beaten path when you travel. Absolutely go on this date. Surely you’ll discover activities that you can enjoy doing together on a typical weekend in LA or while away on vacation. Many adventures await.”
Let’s share, shall we!
I shared a cute example with Marcy that helped her put this issue in perspective. One of the couples we introduced through Cupid’s Coach had a similar situation – he’s a competitive water skier and she’s not a “boat person” and even gets sea sick on the boat dock. They’ve worked around it really well and enjoy being together most every weekend, often at the lake where he keeps his boat. She loves to cook and entertain, and she’s also a quilter. Surely a passion he doesn’t share. While he’s on the water, typically all day on Saturdays, she’s got something yummy cooking in the kitchen, listening to her favorite classical music (which he finds yawn worthy…) and she gets to work on her quilts, thoroughly enjoying the peace and quiet that his beautiful lake house provides for her. They love their romantic dinners there together and often entertain old and new friends on the deck overlooking the water at sunset. She commented to me in their holiday card this past year how surprised she was to have fallen in love with a boating enthusiast!!
I love to hear these creative solutions to what some might see as a barrier or a problem. We’re in a new age folks, wake up and smell the salt water. It’s time to keep thinking outside the box, look for ways to work around potential challenges. Remember, relationships are full of obstacles and opportunities to stretch, grow, adapt, and innovate. Practice these skills during every aspect of dating, especially early on in the initial courting phase.
My husband Gil is Venice all day today at a paddle tennis tournament, thank God, because I am enjoying my new puppy Biscuit who is nibbling at my feet, a fragrant candle is burning to my right, birdies are chirping outside, and a gorgeous breeze is floating in from the patio. I LOVE spending my morningsin this delicious way, all by myself with all one and a half million of you.
Later this afternoon I’ll head to my office to meet with clients and then I’ll enjoy the blessing that my Bikram Yoga practice is. By the way, Gil would rather have bamboo shoots up his nails than practice yoga. This evening, he and I will have a sweet evening walk and dinner together, as usual. I’m not sure we’d have survived twenty years of marriage if we were together ALL the time… 
I happen to love skiing, and yet have been unable to get away from my work to join him on the mountain trips these past few years. He takes our son Kevin with him and they love this time they spend alone together. There will be other ski trips for the two of us in the future. And maybe, just maybe I’ll get Gil to visit my family in Missouri again. And he just might be willing to give up a tennis tournament for a horseback trip with me one of these weekends. Marriage is full of opportunities to compromise.
What about you? How have you worked around activity interest conflicts?
I’d love to hear how you might have creatively dealt with this issue.
With much love,
Julie Ferman, Cupid’s Coach
Stay Connected:
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Meet us by video: http://tinyurl.com/y9tlhr3
Julie Ferman, Cupid’s Coach Awarded “Best Matchmaker” by iDate & OPW, 2010