Posts Tagged ‘Cupid’s Coach’
What an honor and joy is to be acknowledged by our clients and industry colleagues. Many thanks to Marc Lesnick, Mark Brooks and to all of the dating executives and individuals who supported us with their votes.
Personal matchmaking is an art that continues to evolve with our rapidly changing culture. We’re delighted to witness eLove’s perpetual growth and expansion — creating and developing innovative solutions for love-seekers nationally and beyond.
The challenge for today’s single men and women? Our culture has never been more complex — seniors re-entering the dating scene, single millionaire women perplexed as to how to find a suitable and satisfying romantic partner, aspiring husbands and hopeful future fathers engaged in the highly competitive chase for the young, gorgeous, fertile female… oh my…it’s tough out there.
The good news? The Matchmakers Conference at iDate2012 in Miami revealed plenty of it… There’s never been a better time for single love seekers, as we’re seeing consistent innovation from these industry leaders who spend every day enabling relationships for our subscribers, members, and clients. Highlights from this year’s Matchmaker Conference:
Chance Barnett illuminated for us how to create and build relationship with the individuals we’re touching digitally, turning eyeballs into friends, subscribers, members, customers and clients through personal, open-hearted messaging. David Wygant and Marni Battista showed us what it’s REALLY like to be a dating coach, and we were thrilled to see the Best Dating Coach award graciously accepted by Evan Marc Katz.
New and aspiring boutique / niche matchmakers were inspired by Michelle Jacoby and Laurie Berzack, who make the business of matchmaking look almost…easy.
Singles events, networking events, building community — This art was demonstrated beautifully by Renee Piane, who inspired us to keep throwing parties, or to partner with those who do this well.
Dr. Tranquility, Lydia Belton showed us how to capture media attention and Jim Loser with Universal Guardian UGA offered up financing solutions for our clients.
The Matchmakers Conference at iDate will continue to be the one place where matchmakers from around the world convene to inspire and educate each other. It is through these kinds of conferences that the dating and matchmaking industry literally evolves and grows. To those who attended, it was great to see you.
We are lining up speakers for idate2013 — if you’d like to be considered, email Julie@CupidsCoach.com
Every now and then a holiday season rolls around and yet life seems to have dumped a pile of ho-hums on the old doorstep. Someone you love is sick, your BFF is mad at you, a relationship recently fell apart, someone let you down – life has thrown you off balance and you’re feeling hollow, sad, anxious, or just plain BLAH.
Even the most cheerful, upbeat, positive people have Bah Humbug moments. What to do? Here’s what this matchmaker and dating coach suggests…
First thing? Just acknowledge it. Go ahead, say it out loud. “I’m having a Bah Humbug Moment! I’m supposed to be all festive, happy and cheery and instead I feel more like crawling under a rock and hiding until springtime.” Congrats – you just woke up to what’s real for you. Great. You’re half way through.
Next thing – do something physical, outdoors preferably (a vigorous walk works for me) to get your blood flowing, and make it your mission to notice something beautiful, lovely, fresh, and new while on your mind-clearing adventure.
Then, return to the safest, warmest, most inspiring place in your home where you tend to experience your ahhhhhh moments. For me it’s the swing in my yard, a sunny spot just out of range of ringing phones and doorbells. Bring a pen (a nice one that actually works) and your journal (a legal pad will do) and make your list. The list of things you’re currently grateful to have in your life. Keep writing, keep adding to this list until you experience a shift, an energetic shift.
Now — pick someone in your life to love on, someone to reach out to with a card, a gift, a phone call, or plan an unexpected visit. The best way I know to get rid of the blaaaaahs is to get into Active Loving Mode, by practicing the art of unconditional and selfless love.
At the moment I’m stuck with a yukky cold, my eldest son moved out of the house (boo hoo) and my work load is daunting. I guess I have a bit of the Bah Humbugs too. So I’m gonna walk my talk. Back in a few…
OK, it’s an hour later. Biscuit and I walked the neighborhood, my gratitude list is two journal pages long (I used my favorite fancy pen), and I picked the person I want to love on. It’s my Mama. I called her just to check in and spread some love and I told her that I’m booking my flights to come see her for her birthday in February and I’m bringing her grandson. It totally made her day. And you know what? I feel lots better.
Now? It’s your turn. Email me to let me know how YOU transformed your Holiday Blues / Bah Humbug Moment. I’ll be interested to hear what worked for you.
Are our “communication devices” helping single love seekers connect? Or are they getting in our way?
Well….the answer is….Both. Tips here on how to use ‘em or lose ‘em in dating.
Lots of comments in my email box this weekend about how these handy and helpful devices are actually keeping men and women from communicating and connecting with each other. Puzzling, isn’t it? Examples…..
Candice got bent out of shape because Jonathan texted her when she would have preferred to hear his voice. She thinks texting is lame and rude….
Sam was really jazzed to meet Caroline and called her to ask her out for dinner and instead of reaching her or a recording of her sweet, welcoming voice he got the “voice mail has not been set up” roadblock.
Traffic was keeping Mark from being his typically punctual self for Friday’s first date with Jennifer. Wisely, he had her cell number with him, but when he called it to let her know he’d be late the call went to voice mail (the darn Crackberry didn’t ring for some reason) and she sat there at the cafe for 30 minutes….stewing….getting more anxious by the moment. She didn’t think to check her messages.
I sent Gloria out on a flirting expedition on Saturday morning to practice smiling and holding eye contact with the adorable men in her neighborhood and she was defeated by the competition — all the cute boys’ eyes were locked in on their iphones and she couldn’t catch attention from….anyone.
Catherine was thoroughly excited about her second date with Mike and it was beautifully orchestrated — the perfect al fresco dining experience overlooking the yachts in Marina Del Rey. She won’t get a third date. Wanna know why? She had her iphone on the table all evening and every time it buzzed she couldn’t resist; she had to check it. It buzzed…a lot… The impression Mike took away? She’s not really interested in him. Her email box is more important to her than finding a meaningful relationship with a man — a man who is right there with her, courting her, ready and eager to connect with her. She missed her chance to develop relationship with this man, who is…was….a really fitting and motivated suitor. Does this make your friendly neighborhood matchmaker a little bit sad? Yeah….it really does.
The worst part is, folks, she IS interested in him and she’s just fallen into the trap that our communication devices have become for us.
Tips for how to keep your cell phone from ruining your love life:
Turn it off. Completely. When you are on a date, turn the darned thing off altogether. Got kids? Got work challenges? Me too. Check in with those pesky interruptors just before your date (or any important appointment) to make sure they’re OK and let them know you’ll be out of touch for an hour or so. Create these healthy boundaries with the special people in your life. 98% of these oh-so-teasing calls, texts, and emails are not in any way urgent. Let them go…..deal with them later….. Give your date the present of your presence. Works like magic. I promise.
Learn how to use your phone. Ask any teenager to help you figure out how to set up you voice mail, check messages, retrieve your messages, send and receive texts….if we’re going to have one of these “magical” devices we have a responsibility (to ourselves and to the lovely people in our lives) to learn how to use it.
Is your NAME in your voice mail greeting? Is it your voice speaking? It should be. Otherwise how will Jack know he’s left his message with the right Jill? Have you listened to your own voice mail greeting lately? Do you sound cold or annoyed? I surely hope not!
Most importantly, cut each other some slack. Accept the reality that each of us has our preferred methods of giving and receiving communication. Practice being flexible and understanding with each other. Let people know what works for you. Do you like text messages? Do you need to hear a real live voice? If the buzzing cell phone on the dinner table is bugging you, can you find a way to communicate what you need and want, instead of just getting grumpy about it?
Carol did it this way — After she lost Bruce’s attention to his iphone several times during the first 10 minutes of their date, she playfully swatted it (like a fly) and he responded instantly by turning the silly thing off. Smart move, Bruce! The rest of the date went really well and Bruce and Carol will be meeting again for dinner…tonight…at her place. YAY! Humanity wins over machinery. I love it.
Got tips to share about how we can keep our cell phones from running and ruining our lives? Send them on to me. Julie@CupidsCoach.com
This morning’s post-date feedback from our Cupid’s Coach personal matchmaking clients is revealing some fun first date and second date ideas. Some of our matchmaking clients are really being creative, thinking outside the coffee shop for their dating adventures. Here’s what some of our Cupid’s Coach Clients have been up to.
Katherine and Josh are both devoted, enthusiastic dog owners and I love what they did for their second date. They met at a dog park, mid way between their homes and they each brought drinks and edibles to share. The date stretched into the evening, at a sweet little outdoor cafe, the dogs tied up at their feet. Reportedly the dogs are having a love affair too and have been invited on Date Number Three, same dog park, next week after work.
Mara is on a special diet and she didn’t want to appear overly fussy or high maintenance on her date with Jake. They both enjoy adventurous dining and we had them meet up at a Mongolian Barbeque spot, where she could easily and without any fuss at all carefully choose the exact ingredients she wanted, without having to be “a pain” to the waiter or the chef in the kitchen. It was a fun, casual, relaxed first date and it went off without a hitch.
Liz had a corporate event to attend and she needed to bring a plus-one. She’s been dating plenty, but….there’s no one who’s really surfaced as a romantic interest, so she invited a guy named Rob whom she’d met a couple of months back through our agency, Cupid’s Coach. She had just one date with him and thought he was “nice enough” but, no real sparks. But he’s social and fun to be with and she had a feeling he’d “show well” at the event, where her boss and co-workers would be in attendance. Interestingly, this morning’s post date evaluation revealed that there IS some romantic potential for the two of them. She and Rob had a really fun time together — relaxed, no-pressure (maybe because they had already determined that they would just be “friends”…) and whatdyaknow, romance sparks were indeed flying for the two of them and they’ll be getting together for a hike next weekend.
And my favorite Cupid’s Coach date this weekend was in a plane — Matt is a pilot and he flew Monica to San Diego for lunch and a visit to the San Diego zoo yesterday for their third date. Gotta love it.
Make all of your dates an adventure. Meet on a picnic bench overlooking the water, head to the bowling alley, the street fair, the ferris wheel, the art walk, or a poetry reading.
As my mascot and cherished mother-in-law, Feisty Frieda Ferman says, only boring people are ever bored. Let that never be you…on a date…
Send in your favorite date ideas — we love to read them!
Julie Ferman
Suzanne is one of my all time favorite personal matchmaking clients, currently topping the success charts here at Cupid’s Coach. At the some-would-say-challenging age of 58, Suzanne is receiving consistently favorable post-date evaluations and she received three invitations for Valentine’s Day last month – count them, three! That’s what I call an admirable situation.
I called Suzanne this morning to pry out her secret for having such a positive dating experience, and she said she’d reveal her strategy, but only if I promised to share it with you, so here’s the share…
Suzanne’s Success Strategy, which she says works 100% of the time. – She claims it’s her mission to Make His Day. When she’s leaving a voice mail message, replying to an email, or in person on the date, she looks for ways to brighten his world and enrich his life. She said, “In other words, ask not what he can do for me or be for me, but rather…what can I be for him? What can I do for him that will Make His Day?”
“Dating” says Suzanne, “is a great opportunity to practice flexibility” as she knows it’s a skill that will serve her well once in relationship. The man she said Yes to for Valentine’s Day was Peter – he raved to me in one of his post date evaluations about how she’s always happy to drive to his neighborhood or to meet him half-way, rather than always expecting him to schlepp to her. He commented also about how refreshing it is to be with a woman who’s game for anything — the upscale restaurant they had in mind for their first date was packed, and they ended up at the deli over soup and an ice cream sundae. He was worried that she’d be disappointed, but she was happy, which made him happy. In fact, her ability to roll with the punches literally made his day.
Peter and Suzanne are seeing each other exclusively now, and I just picked up the most lovely Thank You card from him in the mail. Suzanne is doing lots right, and I’m glad to have this chance to share her success strategies with all of you.